What if anxiety isn’t an illness, but a signal—your body’s built-in alarm telling you something isn’t right? Instead of viewing it as a label, what if we treated it as a helpful warning system?
Dr. John Delony describes anxiety as “a learned physical and mental response to a world full of threats and disconnection—real or not. It's your body's way of trying to take care of you. And since you learned it, it can be unlearned.” So rather than blaming anxiety itself, maybe we should ask: what’s triggering it?
Reframing Anxiety: The Power of Choice
When anxiety flares up, you’re faced with a choice: let it spiral into panic, or pause, breathe, and listen. Ask yourself, “What’s this alarm trying to tell me right now?”
In his book Building a Non-Anxious Life, Dr. Delony offers six daily choices that can help shift your relationship with anxiety:
- Choose Reality – Confront what is, without layering unnecessary worries.
- Choose Connection – Reach out to others; share what you’re feeling.
- Choose Freedom – Don’t let fear dictate your life.
- Choose Mindfulness – Ground yourself in the present moment.
- Choose Health and Healing – Take active steps toward well‑being.
- Choose Belief – Hold onto hope and faith—even in small measures.
These choices aren’t sequential steps—they’re a wheel. You can start anywhere, and they support each other.
Everyone’s Alarm Sounds Different
No matter your background—whether your life felt stable or you grew up amidst chaos—anxiety can surface. It doesn’t discriminate.
For me, growing up in a loving, stable household didn’t insulate me from anxiety. In high school, I began a secret relationship my parents didn’t know about. Although it brought joy, carrying that secret triggered constant fear of being found out. My anxiety grew into depression, even suicidal thoughts.
Eventually, I told my parents. To my surprise, they responded with love and understanding—far more kindly than the anxious part of me had predicted. This experience taught me something vital: those inner alarms were telling me, something’s wrong.
Finding Your Peace
My mom once shared a Bible verse with me—Philippians 4:7—and explained it with a simple image: imagine your peace is like a loyal dog. Stay behind it, and it protects you. When anxiety flared, I imagined stepping behind that peace, taking a breath—and suddenly, the discomfort eased.